January 24, 2014

Q: What do you do if someone phones up wanting to buy an insurance policy? A: Sell them it! Or, as grizzle-chopped agri-pop yesteryear chart botherers The Wurzels would have said… “Zelomit!”

Zelomit, appropriately enough, is the name under which a bunch of possibly US-based but more likely Nigerian fraudsters rebadged a cloned version of the unexceptionally bland website of Saffron Walden based insurance brokers Saffron Insurance Services.

Zelomit, in direct contradistinction to the claims published on its website, is NOT authorised by us, warned UK insurance regulator the FCA (pronounced F’ka) this week.

Zelomit is also the name of the Bohemian town in which Saint Wenceslas underwent his dramatic conversion to free market economics in 928 AD, an anagram of mole zit, and colloquial Slovenian (zelo mit) for “a complete myth” (if you don’t believe us, you can check on Google Translate).

All of which, we think you will agree, paints a pretty clear picture of exactly how little good the nefarious perpetrators of this unlovely act of clone warfare are up to!

Spot the difference

Staff working for Zelomit appear to bear an uncanny resemblance to those working for Saffron (assuming this bunch of medical students actually work for either of them):





The pretence is let down only by occasional minor slips such as the use of the Yoruba slang word Potect in place of the standard English Protect


Sadly, Zelomit could manage only an unimpressive 0% trust rating from scamadvisor.com:



The end, finally!


What our clients say about us

Sorted out everything I needed straight away, no hesitations great service.
Mr. N - Whitley Bay