August 14, 2014

Young(ish) people today have no shame.

That’s according to the latest survey from internationally respected research institute contracthairbandleasing.com, which showed that 7% of those aged 25-34 would drive away without leaving a note including their contact details after driving into someone else’s car, however serious the damage, compared with just 1% of those aged 65 or over, who routinely carry pen and paper for precisely that purpose.

The staunch moral rectitude of the post-war generation has long since gone to pot, this new research confirms, revealing also that poor people and toffs are not to be trusted, with middle-income individuals significantly more likely to come clean than those at either end of the money-earning spectrum.

Glaswegians, whatever you may have heard, turned out to be more scrupulous in owning up than residents of any other city in the UK, whilst residents of Brighton are not to be trusted with a bargepole. They’d probably use it to assault the nearest parked car, then run off cackling maniacally.

Keen to toss some pseudo-scientific theory mongery into the mix, David Timid, MD of combathireandleaping.com, proposed that failure to report post-prang might, like bullying or child abuse, be transitive, noting that regional courtesy variances “may indicate historical trends in those areas, where bad experiences of vehicle damage mean individuals are less likely to report an accident if they in turn damage another vehicle.”

Meanwhile Steve Clarke of The Foodcard People seized on an opportunity to ingratiate himself with any future Labour administration by reminding us that “Ed Balls, The shadow chancellor, has not only been caught speeding on the M62 and jumping red lights in London, but has just been fined £1,000 for hitting another car and driving off without reporting it.’

A good point well made there, Steve.

examining_a_car_park_scratch

There, right there. See what those b*st*rds did!


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