The name Medicash somehow suggests one of Paul Calf’s slurred asides. How ironic, then, (in a purely Alanis-Morissette sense, of course) that an organisation of that name should bring us the shock results of a searing survey purporting to prove that insurance types are a bunch of inveterate boozers.

So stressed-out are insurance workers, the survey suggests, that they habitually seek solace in the bottom of a glass. Almost one in five insurance workers – more than for any other profession or trade – claim to feel stressed all the time, and one in four (or ‘one if four’ as Professional Broking and Insurance Times both strangely insist on having it) get pissed most nights to dull the pain.

Only builders hit the bottle harder, or so claims the scurrilous Medicash. Seventeen per cent of insurance workers are apparently so stressed (hungover?) that they regularly call in sick.

This all seems a little harsh. After all, insurance is a people business. It’s all about relationships, at the end of the day; and nothing builds relationships – whether commercial, amatory or pugilistic – more rapidly and reliably than hardcore liquid refreshment.

Far be it from Bankstone News to condone alcoholicXS, but, let’s face it, life sucks, they’re all a bunch of ****s, and – what did you say your name was – I really really love you.

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