Mixed fortunes of late for members of Bankstone’s crack golf team. For those readers, incidentally, who are not familiar with the (illegal and thoroughly repugnant) game of crack golf, it does not exist and has never been played, or even heard, of by anyone at Bankstone.
Where were we? Bankstone Director Dickon Tysoe was the guest of top-notch insurance software specialists SSP for their recent annual golf day, where he had the good fortune to be accompanied by professional coach David Llewellyn, who remarked upon Mr Tysoe’s quite extraordinary loft. “Loft?” enquired Tysoe all innocence. “Lack of [expletive deleted] talent,” chuckled the Welshman.
Meanwhile at another golfing event – that of leading motor insurance specialists Adrian Flux to be specific – Bankstone’s Mexican bandit of the fairways Andy Jones went round five under par to pick up 41 points off a handicap of 27, finishing second in the team event and claiming the individual first prize of a glittering trophy and fine set of clubs.
Jones was at a loss to explain this extraordinary coup – blaming the expert guidance of his Adrian Flux partner and his own unaccountable inability to hit a bad shot all day. “I am as surprised as anyone,” the inveterate hustler protested half-heartedly.
His colleague Mr Tysoe was equally unable to explain his own (neatly counterpointed) inability to hit a decent shot all day. “Seriously though,” he persisted with Coach Llewellyn, “any tips?” “Seems to me you’re standing too close to the ball” the pro ventured helpfully. “After you’ve hit it!”