March 16, 2015

Like friend who’s outstayed their welcome, motorcycles are OK to spend some time with when you’re in the mood, but can end up being nuisance if they stick around too long.

They’re all well and good out on the winding windy moors, thrumming away eagerly between your leathery thighs (that’s just the bike we’re talking about now – the friend analogy finished at the end of paragraph one). But who needs them hanging around the lounge, dripping on the shagpile, and generally filthing the place up?

Wouldn’t it be great, you’ve probably thought, if you could dismember them, wrap them up in a couple of bags, and stow them away somewhere where no one will ever find them (as noted above, the friend analogy has finished). Well, now you can!

That’s right, Bankstone’s big mates at Easy Rider are ready to supply specially adapted monkey bikes, that quite literally come apart in your hands! A bespoke bike breakdown kit is now available that converts a perfectly ordinary monkey bike into a the kind of thing you might find in a Kinder Egg.

“What does this all mean?” you may ask. Does Bankstone News look like a semanticist?

It might, for all we know, mean that, next time you get your car serviced, you could drive it over with a bagged up monkey in the boot, pull it out when you get there, whack the bits together, and nip off home again in a trice.

Or it might mean you could keep your monkey bike bags in the bottom of the airing cupboard, and then, the morning after one of your notorious Friday night sessions, fish them out, stick all the bits back together (using the easy-to-follow hangover proof instructions), fall down the stairs with the now fully assembled machine, pick yourself up, dust yourself down and ride over to your hostelry of choice, or wherever it was along the way home you abandoned your main vehicle (chugging along on your tiny, bright yellow, approximately assembled bike, you’ll attract little or no attention – just as well if you’re still a bit over the limit – with the cobweb-clearing wind in your hair, your dressing gown billowing merrily, and your knees spread refreshingly wide), take the bike apart again, stick it in the leaking-fluids-proof bags supplied, wang it in the boot, and drive back home again in time for the rugby, probably.

In a soon-coming edition of Bankstone News we will be bringing you some less blurry pictures of this technology-based miracle of deconstruction. We’ll also be bringing you full details of how you, yes you, could soon be the proud owner of your very own pull-apart minibike.

So there is something for you to look forward to after all!

 

 


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