No one could ever accuse Bankstone News of being the kind of online news organ that’s prone to undergarment-torsion. In fact we’re usually more laid-back than a dreadlocked central-casting Caribbean islander.
Hakuna Matata, as they say down on the Swahili coast (or in that film with the warthog, the weasel-thing and the gone-bad flea-bitten lion): that’s our motto most days. And normally we’d be the first to counsel horizontally-inclined equanimity to anyone who’ll listen.
But sometimes even we’d admit that the only rational response to a certain situation in life is to panic, to panic hard, and to keep on panicking until something quite radically changes.
Just such as situation, as it turns out, would obtain if you were to find yourself in Halifax in a Ford Fiesta. Why, what’s so terrible about being in Halifax in a Ford Fiesta?, you’re probably wondering.
What’s terrible is that if you were in Halifax in a Ford Fiesta you would be dicing, quite literally, with the imminent risk of encountering a motor accident scenario.
According to important new research conducted by or on behalf of law firm Your Legal Fiend, Ford Fiestas are not only the cars most likely to fall victim to a motor accident, they are also the cars most likely to cause one.
Which is to say: more likely than Ford Focuses, Ford Kaaas, or Ford anything elses. More likely, even, than the notorious Mercedes Benz ‘Sprinter’ Van. Which is saying something. In fact, Your Lethal Friend claims that almost one in five UK motor accidents involves a Ford Fiesta.
And where are you most likely to have an accident? That’s right: in Halifax, closely followed by Liverpewel, Coventry and St Albarns.
So if you are in Halifax, or one of those other places, in a Ford Fiesta, we’d strongly suggest you pull over immediately and jump out – although, before you bail, please do check your wing mirror for buses, lorries, or Mercedes Benz Sprinters fast approaching from behind.
On the other hand, Your Legal Fiend also reckon that drivers in their 30s are most likely to have motor accidents (with 30 the peak age for causing them and 32 for falling victim to them). Which makes you wonder why it’s teens and early twenties types who pay the highest premiums.
So maybe My Learned Friend is talking b*llocks. In which case, you can once again chill, relax, and generally luxuriate in the happy assurance that comes with knowing that every little thing is going to be alright.
Hakunis Mutandis, my Fiesta-driving Brothers and Sisters!
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