Warning: may contain content of an ironic, satirical or not strictly true nature

Industry

Europe braces for GB motor maniacs

Published Thursday, June 10th 2010

Continental types should be afraid this summer. British motorists are on their way. Fearing further flight blight due to striking air crew and ash clouds, Mr and Mrs GB are taking their motor on holiday.

In a press release proper journalists discarded long ago, Bankstone News was alarmed to read that ‘one million Brits are heading for motoring disasters abroad.’

Being French, it’s perhaps not that surprising that Axa shouldn’t hold this nation’s driving skills in especially reverential awe. But one million disasters? Not since WWI have Brits been caught up in continental carnage on quite such a cataclysmic scale.

So what’s inspiring Axa with so little confidence in its blighty-based insureds?

Well, since you ask, Axa’s carried out some in-depth research, which shockingly shows that:

Fully 24% of Brits think (WRONG-LY, in case you’re one of them!) that sticking an oval piece of plastic saying GB on the back of your car is optional. A fluttering flag of St George will do just as well, of course – though you may want to remove this following England’s quarter-finals penalties fiasco.

Perhaps confused by the locals’ limited respect for the pettier rules of the road, 40% believe it is legal to jump a red light in Italy providing nothing is coming. Lemmings!

Another 40% were tricked by Axa’s cruelly cunning questionnaire into agreeing with the statement that: it ees illegal to esound your motorhorn on a Sunday in Espain.’ Oh dear, oh dear!

Clearly ignorance on this titanic scale can only end badly. “While some of the misconceptions are amusing,” Axa motor bloke Craig Staniland admits tittering before adding in more sober tones: “there are some very serious misunderstandings that could lead to breaking the law or a serious accident.”

Let’s hope they’re fully insured!

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