June 6, 2014

Back in the early 90s newscasterman Martyn Lewis argued that people were sick and tired of reading and/or hearing about nasty and depressing things, and that the news media should focus instead on about happy, positive, uplifting things.

His intervention struck a chord with decent honest people up and down the land, and hopes were even briefly raised that some plucky media entrepreneur would step forward with a new news service dedicated solely to the delivery of good news.

Alas, this never came to pass. But now, by the sound of it, those of a Lewisite persuasion can at least turn to a car review website that guarantees to deliver an unequivocally positive verdict on each and every vehicle it tests.

The website in question, WeLoveAnyCar.com (at which, it should be stressed, Bankstone News has never so much as glanced), was reported this week to have surveyed UK Jag fans and discovered – not altogether surprisingly – that a great many of them think that Nigel Farage seems like a pretty decent chap. Indeed, almost a third of them confirmed that they would be voting for the beer, fags, and foreigners-out party at the next general erection.

The apmaphiliac website also discovered by quizzing the UK’s Jag drivers are 86% over 50 and 94% male (and let’s face it, a Jaguar’s hardly a car for the fillies!) They are also mostly of the opinion that, whilst it’s a damned shame Jaguar sold out to foreigners, the cars have actually got better since the new lot took over.

Jagmen are loyal by nature, the survey revealed, with many of them having owned more Jags than they have wives (at least four in 30% of cases).

So much for lazy stereotypes!

Until next week’s issue, that is.

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