February 29, 2016

Former Tory cabinet member and occasional chairman of fashion house BIBA Lord Hunt of Squirrel claims to have been having a bit of chat with the BIBA troops and learned that they’re absolutely terrified at the potential prospect of Britain leaving the Europäische Union.

Asked whether he’d rather leave the EU or hurl himself headlong “into an abyss,” Lord H, says, Johnny Broker in the trenches would be hard pressed to choose. In the average broker’s humble workaday eyes, the two options add up to much the same thing, the peer reveals.

The vast majority of right-thinking brokers, he insists, know better than to defy David Cameron, the US, China, India, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Commonwealth, the G20, the IMF, the UN, the Army, the Navy, the Air force, the City of London, all other cities where money is made, the Pope, God, and BIBA itself – simply for the sake of reaffirming some deluded and anachronistic idea of nation state sovereignty in a era of superglobalization.

Not content to rely on Britons’ reluctance to flirt with another decade of nostalgia-ridden make do and mend in the land of Downturn Abyss just for chance to tell sponging slave-wage immigrants and bloated Eurocrats where to get off, Lord Hunt loyally proclaims, albeit in somewhat unspecific terms, the manifold best-of-both-worlds benefits and “key concessions” won by DC with his radically renegotiated ‘special treatment’ deal for Britain within the EU.

Strangely, Hunt’s faithful recapitulation of the Cameron party line has met with a distinctly luke warm reception from BIBA rank and file.

“That’s complete b*llo*cks,” one broker told Bankstone News (although that may perhaps have been in reference to a different story – but it could have been about Lord H’s europhile panegyric).

Hunt’s claim that the “overwhelming majority of brokers I have spoken to want to remain in Europe,” another broker suggested, is merely indicative of a highly selective programme of broker consultation on the peer’s part.

His insistence that there would be no further opportunities to negotiate a better deal for Britain in Europe following a “leave’ vote (i.e. even better than the literally amazing benefits secured the other day by a sleep-deprived Davey C) was also cast in doubt by hard-bargain-driving wily old deal-doers among the BIBA ranks.

“There’s always a deal to be done,” one told Bankstone News reporters. “Europe needs us more than we need them. Britain is bigger and better than any number of Euro nations stuck together. Cut free of continental red tape, there’ll be nothing to stop us going on from strength to strength to total global domination.”

Do not expect a BIBA member Brexit poll any time soon!

scared-man_11

 


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