October 2, 2017

Baronette Ros Alt-Man has been in the news quite a bit lately with her campaign to rein in the worst excesses of Claims Manufacturing Companies (CMCs).

One of her recent contributions on this topic threw up the alarming suggestion that Brits are the sick men of Europe.

One package holiday operator, Alt-Man revealed in a recent article, took 800,000 Germans and 750,000 Brits to the same resort over the same period (presumably it was a pretty decent sized place) and received 114 sickness claims from the Germans and more than 4,000 from the Brits.

On the face of it, these figures would appear to suggest that somebody (maybe even those same CMCs who’ve helped us Brits clinch our coveted reputation for cervical delicacy) has encouraged certain UK-based holidaymakers to exaggerate or fabricate ‘incidents of sickness’ experienced overseas.

But hold on just a second there! The resort in question was almost certainly somewhere foreign. Germans are used to eating foreign food. Brits, of course, are not. Thank God!

It’s hardly surprising, then, that delicately tuned gastrointestinal systems habituated to decent British fare like pizzas, hamburgers and chicken tikka masala should recoil from the greasy embrace of unfamiliar foreign muck.

With holiday resorts now openly talking about charging Brits extra to reflect our supposedly excessive propensity for bringing sickness claims, it’s time we took a stand and said what needs to be said:

Hola, Señor, mi postillón ha sido golpeado por un rayo. Now stop fobbing us off with this filthy foreign food!”

The sooner we get out of Europe the better.


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