January 12, 2018

Not content with plotting to steal back Northern Ireland from the UK as a spin-off from the Brexit process (thereby undoing all the great work done by Oliver ‘Chuckles’ Cromwell, Billy Jean King et al), the Republic of Ireland is apparently trying to purloin our title as the Whiplash Capital of Europe.

The Emerald Entity’s designs on our prized WCE title came to Bankstone News’ attention recently via an ‘investigation’ published by campaigning group Axes2Justice (which exists to deny decent ordinary claims-free motorists the 36p reduction in motor insurance premiums promised by government in return for surrendering the legal right to ‘try it on’).

According to Axes2Juices (J2O) Irish insurance brokers have been urging the Republic’s claim to the WCE title since as far back as 2016, when they claimed that whiplash accounts for 80% of motor insurance claims in that country. Meanwhile some joker called Kevin Tom Thumb, supposedly the chief executive of something called Insurance Ireland, has separately bragged that (at €15,000 per whiplash claim) “We have the most expensive necks in Europe.”

And it’s not just Ireland that’s been eyeing up our crown. There are real fears now that sour-grapes EU member states may also be plotting to strip the UK of its role as Europe’s whiplash capital as punishment for our temerity in taking back control.

The Justice2Excess ‘investigation’ quotes some implausibly named academic, one Professor Kenny Elephant, who’s been going round suggesting that lowly Italy has nearly 50% more whiplash claims than the UK and pays out more than twice as much in compensation. Absurdly, Elephant claims the value of UK whiplash claims is no better than mid-table in the Euro neck-pain compensation league.

Germany, France and Spain also have aspirations to take over from the UK as Europe’s whiplash capital.

But how seriously should we take such claims? Not seriously at all, we say here at Bankstone News.

There’s just one word to describe the preposterous, preening pretentions of these pompous puffed-up Euro popinjays: fake news!


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