August 9, 2016

It may be tempting to submit exaggerated or dishonest claims to try and increase an insurance claim,” concedes L/V@ claims person Clare Lung, but outside your local branch of Halfords is possibly not the place to try it.

Not judging by the recently reported experience of the man known as ‘The Carer’ (quite why, we don’t know, but presumably not because he cares about truth, justice and beauty or anything fine upstanding and noble like that).

In a major coup for crack anti-fraud squad the FEDs, The Carer was caught out by CCTV footage after he tried to claim he’d been whiplashed when a lady reversed into his (unoccupied) car while he was in Halfords bulk buying air fresheners, shandy and auto-lube (probably).

Thanks to some top-notch anti-fraud detective work, following up a promising lead received from insurers L+V= after the claimed-against lady driver went back to Halfords and retrieved incriminating CCTV footage showing her wilfully reversing, at speed, into The Carer’s Clio, with him clearly not in it, the FEDs were quickly able to establish what had happened.

The Carer was tracked to his lair and brought downtown for a no-holds barred interrogation at iFED HQ, which must have gone something like this.

FEDs: This claim of yours, it’s basically a load of old ****, init?”

The Carer: “No. No, it isn’t. It’s God’s own truth. Straight up. Honest. Not a word of a lie. One hundred and ten percent true all the way. You’re just trying to fit me up because it burns you that someone like me is out there caring, while you’re just getting on everyone’s case for no good reason.”

FEDS: Don’t **** with us, you low-life piece of ****. See this ******* telly. You think we’re going to be calling out for ******* pizza and watching Game of ******* Thrones? Is that what you think?

The Carer: Well, be perfectly honest, I hadn’t…

FEDs: Shut it, you Muppet! Sit back and feast your ******* eyes on this, [presses Play] and then tell us we haven’t got you bang to ******* rights.”

The Carer: [Squinting at grainy black and while footage on screen] Oh yeah, OK, yeah, that’s right, sorry. I remember now: I did actually make the whole thing up. I must have been getting confused with this other insurance claim I made or something.

FEDS: Take this ******** back down the cells, Danny.

So that was The Carer’s goose well and truly cooked. Net result: a well deserved Polite Caution for him and no case to answer for L0v£ and their prang-happy lady driver policyholder. Once again, Bankstone News salutes the tireless fraud-busting efforts of the FEDs.

Making an example of people like The Carer is helping to bring down premiums for honest decent right-thinking motor insurance policyholders everywhere.

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