July 15, 2016

Which of us has not, every once in a while, taken a long hard look at ourselves and (having perhaps just staggered blearily naked from the shag-piled splendour of our penthouse bachelor love nest boudoir – roused perhaps by an urgent if booze-dulled small-hours urge to void our naggingly distended bladder – into the discretely illuminated underfloor-heated ox-blood marble expanse of the adjoining bathroom, only to catch an unsettling off-guard glimpse, in the full length bronze tinted mirror, of unposed loosely fitting flesh and limp-sinewed corporeal superfluity) concluded that a bit of right-sizing might be in order?

Just as it’s a time honoured truth that nobody likes a fatty, so the world of business and commerce has little time for bloated corporates. With this eternal truth, perhaps, in mind, sinister EU-based insurer Allez-Antz is getting back to total beach-body readiness this summer by trimming fat left right and centre. For fat, read unsightly excess employees.

Having only the other day, publicly congratulated itself on putting 170 jobs at risk, with its plans to kick its self-destructive and degenerate direct home and motor habit, Allez-Antz is now set on at-risking another 80 positions as it right-sizes its operations, technical, and market management functions.

Jon “JD” Die, Allez-Antz’ UK top dog, said the purge would “ensure that our organisation is the right size and right shape to support our future competitiveness” and make it more profitable.

The desire to right-size down to Leni-Riefenstahl-style upright muscular spareness of physique sounds laudable, doesn’t it. Laudable, that is, until you reflect that all that blubber getting trimmed consists of decent hard-working British people, just like you and me. Most of them. Probably.

Not for such people is this so much a laughing matter!

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